Driving me crazy
His first word (after “Da” and “Ma”):
TIGER: Car!
His usual exhortation whilst I towed him and his baby brother in a bike trailer:
TIGER: Faster, Momma! Faster! Faster!
At age 5, playing by himself with his Hot Wheels:
TIGER: (high voice) We’re driving too fast! (low voice) Ha, ha, YES! We’re driving very fast! (high voice) We’re going to crash! (low voice) Yes! I’m driving fast enough we’re going to crash! (high voice) AieeeeEEEEE! (more sound effects) CRASH! CRASH! BOOM! KAPOWWWW! (imitates the sound of an ambulance siren) Errrrrrroooowwwww, eeerrrrrowwwww!
His back seat advice to me at the age of 10:
TIGER: Get in front of that guy! Faster, Mom! Faster!
His views at age 12 on the facilitation of traffic flow:
TIGER: The horn is the answer to EVERYTHING, Mom.
When he was 14 and somebody cut us off on I-5:
TIGER: Hit him, Mom! Pull up beside him and swipe him! I’m kidding, Mom! Maybe you could just tap his bumper. A little.
When he was 15, and I reminded him of that story:
TIGER: I was KIDDING. I wouldn’t actually do that. Hey. Speed up! Don’t let that Volkswagen get in front of us!
At age 16, waving his completed application for a learner’s permit:
TIGER: Today’s the day, Mom! 9:35 am! Oceanside DMV! Let’s go! Faster, Mom! Faster!
I’m not just taking one 16-year-old Tiger to get a learner’s permit; there’s a whole bunch of younger Tigers who are coming along, too.
Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie - I feel your pain!
Comment by Dennie — 1/27/2006 @ 1:47 pm
Oh god, i dread that day! My 10 yold has road rage now….in 7 years time…the mind boggles!
I request you refrain from blogging about Tiger’s driving experiences OR can you put a warning up!
Comment by Michelle — 1/27/2006 @ 2:39 pm
He’s been purring about driving the Audi for years now. My response has always been “In a pigs eye!” I’m not sure what that actually means but my dad used it on me whenever he his answer was a definite NO, NEVER, NOT EVER!
Today when Tiger got home from the DVM the first thing he said to me is “Guess what dad? In a pig’s eye just happened! Let’s go take the Audi for a test spin.”
Big Daddy
Comment by Big Daddy — 1/27/2006 @ 3:57 pm
I feel the fear.
Wait, that’s mine realizing Boy is only 5 months from a learners permit.
I’m not ready. Didn’t I just bring him home, all colicky and never-believed-in-sleep-until-four?
This is the child that gets lost in a mall.
And he’s going to learn to drive?
Where’s the chocolate?
Comment by Kait — 1/27/2006 @ 4:04 pm
my oldest is 11 and the boys all know how much longer they each have to 16 and the dreaded permits - argh!!!!
Comment by Dennie — 1/27/2006 @ 5:33 pm
Is there a way you could PAGE me when the little guys behind the wheel? I don’t mind pulling over for a couple of hours. Or maybe, if you can print me out his driving times… hey, that would be ideal. I could plan my life around his driving, yea, cool.
Love You,
Mike the Master of Disaster
Comment by Mike the Master of Disaster — 1/27/2006 @ 5:41 pm
Oh, the pain!!! It’s been a LOBG time but I do remember…LOL…I’ll pray for you…and the Audi, my friend!
Comment by Bonnie Calhoun — 1/27/2006 @ 9:35 pm
Thanks for the warning…I am now going into my cave and NEVER coming out…these boys shall never drive. Never. Never…*shiver*.
Comment by Mimi — 1/28/2006 @ 9:34 pm