Monday Morning Mojo No. 30: Dog Beach
Today’s Monday Morning Mojo represents a slight change in focus. (Translation: he didn’t chew up anything this week.)
And when you are a good little bulldog who refrains from tearing into cell phones and snorkels and ceiling fan remotes, you get to go to Dog Beach. (Dog Beach is a lot like Dog Heaven, only with a lot more butt-sniffing and you have to take a bath after.)
Now, if you ever get to own a bulldog, the first thing you might notice when you take him to Dog Beach will be how everybody else reacts to your dog.
Whereas you only see sweetness and joy running up and down the beach…
… Everybody else sees this:
Some people see Mojo coming and sweep their dogs up into their arms.
NERVOUS DOG OWNER: Omigod! Fifi! Quick! BEFORE HE GETS HERE!
Other people run and stand in front of their dogs, as if they’re going to protect them with their bodies.
TOUGH DOG OWNER: “YOU’LL HAVE TO GET THROUGH ME FIRST, YOU HOUND OF HELL.”
But mostly they just look askance at the Bulldog Jaws of Doom.
CONCERNED DOG OWNER: Yikes! Look at that mouth! Should we do anything? Is he in pain?
This is because the moment Mojo gets a mouthful of sea water, a chemical reaction occurs that converts his drool into a radioactive substance that not only bubbles and foams out of his mouth but eventually wraps around his head. We’re pretty sure it glows in the dark, too.
The other dogs don’t care about drooly foam. They think it’s funny. And Mojo may not be able to keep up with any of them, but he is very stinky and dogs love stinky. If Mojo could be a puddle, all the other dogs would roll in him.
Plus he does crazy things with his mouth that had all the other dogs in stitches.
So when all the humans realized the bulldog 1) wouldn’t ravish Fifi after all, and 2) wasn’t going to die of rabies, they made friends. One guy even spent some time scratching Mojo’s back.
Mojo repaid him by wiping off all his froth on the guy’s pants. Then he tried to sneak off with another dog’s frisbee but got caught.
He chatted with all the other dogs at the Dog Beach equivalent of a fire hydrant…
And then he helped some kids collect shells.
This 7-year-old greyhound left Mojo in the dust…
… so he looked until he thought he found a dog more his speed, but even Fifi here outran him.
And while I put this together, Mojo did his part to contribute by CHEWING SOMETHING UP.
I guess old habits die hard, especially if you’re a bulldog.
awww - I uh - awwwww… Love the pics!
Man I wish we lived near a beach!
Comment by Dennie — 4/24/2006 @ 5:40 am
Oh man, I miss California! I do love North Carolina, but I miss the insanity of LA LA land.
Hey, my name is way too much like Fifi…and I own a dog that looks way too much like Fifi. Coincidence? Well, mine is white but has brown and black too. But she is small (1/2 Shih Tzu and 1/2 Jack Russell…we call her a Jack ShihTz) Heh heh heh. I love the pics. Thanks for the fun!
Comment by Mimi — 4/24/2006 @ 6:43 am
Love the pics. Mojo is so cool.
A dog beach, what a neat idea. Two-toes would be in dog heaven. He loves water (his ears do not) and he loves dogs. They’re his bestest friends. And humans. This dog turns himself inside out to be friendly—and that friendliness scares a bunch of dog owners.
What did Mojo the Magnificant chew?
Comment by Kait — 4/24/2006 @ 7:02 am
Hi, guys!
Kait, I’ll showcase the chewed-up item next Monday. Two-toes is invited to the beach any time. We’ll bring a bottle of Swimmer’s Ear for him.
Mimi: there was a 10-year-old Jack Russell there, too. He acted just like a pup. See below:
Hi, Dennie!
Comment by Bonnie Wren — 4/24/2006 @ 9:33 am
Greyhounds leave all dogs–except other sighthounds in the dust.
Actually, I find bulldogs terribly unthreatening. Pit bulls scare me, but I like the drooly, smush-nose thing bulldogs have goin’ on.
Comment by pat kirby — 4/24/2006 @ 9:40 am
WOW! Spring has SPRUNG! What a fun time. I want to come down there
and play at the beach with you!
love,
Waldo
Comment by Waldo Rupert — 4/24/2006 @ 10:22 am
Oh, man…my dog would love the beach. She spenda a lot of time in our pond…the beach would make her soooooo happy!
Comment by Bonnie Calhoun — 4/24/2006 @ 9:42 pm
I love your dog.
And this is a great picture show.
Comment by Bernita — 4/25/2006 @ 4:16 am
so much fun….we have 2 aussies who would love Mojo. They adore stinky, drooly slow footed boys. Pancake and Emma (the aussies) say the next time youre in the Central Valley stop by for some fun
Comment by Laurie — 4/25/2006 @ 4:26 pm
I don’t know which part is funnier, the photos or the commentary!
I think what I love most about Mojo is how he puts all of life in perspective. I’d kiss his drooly snout just for that!
Comment by Elizabeth — 4/25/2006 @ 5:36 pm
Both are equally enchanting. Nice post, Bonnie! Sumi would loooooove to come frolick on the beach with Mojo. She loves the beach and -as you adroitly noted- stinky things.
Comment by Lachlan — 4/26/2006 @ 1:18 pm
Mojo is sooo cute, but in such a different way from my greyhounds.
It’s true people do pick up their little dogs when they see something they think might be intimidating coming. We have had Great Danes in the past - one was attacked by a Yorkshire Terrier on the beach and had the bite marks to prove it! Figure that one out!
Comment by Dianne — 11/20/2007 @ 3:39 am