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Monday Morning Mojo No. 48: Señor Tortuga

Filed under: Bulldog on Monday, September 18, 2006

My old turtle puppet, all torn up

WHAT: Señor Tortuga, a turtle puppet I’ve had since I was 12.

(And if anyone intends to start in on how juvenile and immature I am in keeping my old toys, they’ll be treated to a serious lecture on childhood keepsakes—and their importance in chronicling a young girl’s journey into adulthood—just before I whack them over the head with my Penny Brite doll.)

HOW: Unknown. Either Mojo learned how to open doors—or somebody is covering up a conspiracy to commit turtle-cide.

SQUIRT: (solemnly) Mom, I have some bad news about Señor Tortuga. (exhibits the remains)

HUBBY: Aww, honey, little El Torito got all chewed up!

BONNIE: That dang dog!

HUBBY: Little Señor Tortilla! He survived our boys, but he couldn’t survive the Mojo.

BONNIE: But he was in the closet! How did he get from the closet to the Bulldog Jaws of Doom?

SQUIRT: That’s the weird thing, Mom! I have NO IDEA.

(Mojo starts sniffing at the remains of Señor Tortuga)

BONNIE: Get away from there, you… you… TURTLE KILLER!

HUBBY: Aw, you can’t blame him for wanting a little Mexican food every now and then! And it’s not so bad. A little needle and thread, and your little Totoro will be as good as new.

  1. Aww, how sad, Bonnie. :( My condolences.

    Comment by Honey — 9/18/2006 @ 3:08 am

  2. That can be major anguish!
    I still have my doll Peggy and my Bugs Bunny toy highchair and…

    Comment by Bernita — 9/18/2006 @ 3:46 am

  3. Aah, poor Bonnie. I feel for you. I still have my teddy bear, doll Mary and other toys. Poor Mojo, too – after all, he thinks the toys are especially for him to chew up.

    Comment by Welshcakes Limoncello — 9/18/2006 @ 6:10 am

  4. It looks like there are some things that a good dog will just love to death.

    :)

    Comment by tl — 9/18/2006 @ 6:27 am

  5. Awwww, poor Senor Turtle. Poor Bonnie.

    A Mojo fix!

    Was Mojo talking to Two-Toes? That rascally dog nailed Sam, the stuffed cat and gave him a lovely foam-spewing abcess. Sam’s never been the same.

    Hope Senor gets some serious TLC and a Mojo-free zone.

    Comment by Kristen — 9/18/2006 @ 6:34 am

  6. Poor Senor Turtle……..

    Comment by birchsprite — 9/18/2006 @ 6:55 am

  7. I’m so sorry Bonnie! It looks like more than a needle and thread can fix. I think someone is blaming Mojo for getting him out of the closet when it was them leaving out Senor after spending the day secretly playing with him!

    Comment by Squirrel — 9/18/2006 @ 9:16 am

  8. Awww….

    How funny about the little eyes just sprawled out to the side, though. (SORRY)

    Comment by April Redmon — 9/18/2006 @ 9:40 am

  9. Poor Bonnie! That’s gotta hurt. But yanno, Senor Turtle is patchworked. Make him another patch. He can survive this. By the time he’s passed down to the grandkids, the patch will be part of his history, like a cast from the year you broke the kid’s arm. I mean, the year the kid broke his arm playing in your closet. I know just how you feel. I have a 101 Dalmation who was named Spot in 1960. Get out your needle and thread, poke Mojo a couple times, and threaten to sew his jaws shut if he ever does that again.

    Comment by Lesia Valentine — 9/18/2006 @ 2:01 pm

  10. Senor Tortuga’s wounds look mysteriously like the wounds inflicted on the Finger Puppet population over here about 5 years ago. Where exactly was Mojo in 2001?!, on the night of the Seventeenth?

    Comment by jamie — 9/18/2006 @ 2:30 pm

  11. As the owner of two really cute turles, I totally feel for you.

    Comment by Dana — 9/18/2006 @ 3:05 pm

  12. Hi, I found you through Ms. Karen.

    Your ‘blog is a riot! I just may come back if’n ya don’t mind.

    Poor turtle. I lost several stuffed friends to Beagle jaws. It was so gory and horrible that my husband demanded that the murderer be exiled permanently to someone else’s home!

    Comment by groovyoldlady — 9/18/2006 @ 4:37 pm

  13. Senor Tortuga will be remembered fondly by both you and Mojo’s taste buds.

    Comment by Jaye Wells — 9/18/2006 @ 7:57 pm

  14. Ahi Senor Tortuga! Que Pobrecito!

    I totally empathize with you, although I don’t think my loss was nearly as dear as yours. My pit Reiki got at my monkey (“Mono” as a matter of fact!) just last week. Why do they always have to go for the eyes?!?

    I do hope that Sr. Tortuga is able to make a speedy recovery!

    Comment by Mr. Drug Rehab — 9/18/2006 @ 9:19 pm

  15. Hi, guys!

    Thank you, Honey.

    Bernita, I knew you’d be the type to understand.

    And you, too, Welshcakes. Simone was never so naughty, was she?

    Birchsprite, thank you for dropping in!

    tl, that avatar of yours cracks me up whenever I see it!

    Kristen, that’s just it. Senor Tortuga WAS in a Mojo-free zone. How’d he get into the bulldog molar garden?

    I think you, Squirrel, hit the nail right on the head! This is very, very suspicious.

    April, when I took the picture, Mojo’s breath kept making the eyes roll around… and then he wanted to catch them.

    Heh! Lesia! Somehow I don’t think the bulldog has enough long-term memory to make a connection like that, even with a needle and thread.

    Jamie, his alibi is airtight: he was just a twinkle in his momma’s eye.

    Dana… are they LIVE turtles?

    Jaye, thank you, lady. You’d think all that 30-year-old foam would taste pretty bad, too.

    Groovyoldlady, it’s nice to meet you. Mojo met a Beagle last summer and developed a case of sniff envy, because that dog could sniff out ANYTHING.

    Mr. Drug Rehab, I’m starting to get a few comments from drug rehab and addiction centers… should I be worried? Are you guys trying to tell me something?

    Comment by Bonnie Wren — 9/18/2006 @ 9:50 pm

  16. oh no! not Sr. Tortuga! but, what’s that?
    “… and if anyone intends to start in on how juvenile and immature I am in keeping my old toys, they’ll be treated to a serious lecture on childhood keepsakes …”
    Oh yeah! I remember the sad day when my poor tigger who was counting the minutes to retirement met his sad end in the middle of a tug-of-war between a certain teenager author who shall be nameless but whose name rhymes with “Lonnie”, and a younger sibling who shall be nameless but rhymes with … okay, never mind, you were saying??

    Comment by Sissy Poo — 9/18/2006 @ 10:10 pm

  17. We had a dog that ate salad (when you weren’t looking) but spit out the garbonzo beans …you have a dog that eats toy turtle but spits out the eyes. ;-)

    I hope Senor Tortuga will be patched up (if all else fails maybe he can be wrapped in gauze as if he’s bandaged) and that the tale will go into your family folklore (under the mojo header) –stories your kids will tell their kids.

    Comment by dink — 9/18/2006 @ 10:58 pm

  18. I feel your pain! My dog ate the face off of my Pound Puppy…the one I grew up with…went to college with me…and survived less than a month living with Bubba.

    Comment by Susan — 9/19/2006 @ 4:30 am

  19. Holy karmic retribution, Batman! I forgot all about poor old Tigger, my Sis. But bwa ha! You got me good! (Stinker!) Um, don’t tell Mom, okay?

    Hey, there, Dink… that was odd, wasn’t it? How he spit out the eyes? Or maybe they just got lost in the old bulldog jowls and he forgot about them.

    Aw, Susan… Bubba was just jealous of his older doggy sibling. It was Cain and Abel, all over again!

    Comment by Bonnie Wren — 9/19/2006 @ 7:32 am

  20. I still have the teddy bear that was given to me as a baby. His name, appropriately, is Teddy. ha He’s safe at my mom’s though.

    Comment by Erika — 9/19/2006 @ 1:06 pm

  21. OMG! ROFLOL…you poor…LOL…thing…LOL…I so sorry…LOL! At least he left the eyes behind, uh, er,…in front…on the floor…LOL!

    *she ducks to avoid being swatted*

    I’m so sorry ! *snort*

    Comment by Bonnie Calhoun — 9/19/2006 @ 7:55 pm

  22. The turtle deserves a proper funeral.

    Comment by Flower Delivery UK — 9/20/2006 @ 10:22 am

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