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I fought the lawn… and the lawn won

Monday Morning Mojo No. 49: the Dustpan

Filed under: Bulldog on Monday, September 25, 2006

One chewed-up dustpan

WHAT: One dustpan. We couldn’t find what was left of the handle—or any of the other missing pieces, either.

BONNIE’S REACTION: Mojo! Come here!

HUBBY: My poor Mojo! Don’t be too hard on him, honey—how do you know it was him, anyway? Why, I bet Clara did it! And framed him!

BONNIE: I know who did it, all right. Mojo!

(Mojo slinks forward, head low, tail would be hanging low, too, if he had one)

BONNIE: You are such a GOOD boy! Good, good Mojo! Now, let me show you the broom. Yeah, I know, it’s a little scary, but I bet it tastes really, really good. Whadaya think, boy? Why don’t you lick it? Just once! Try it!

HUBBY: Turn your tender eyes away, boys, I don’t want you to see this. Your momma—well, she’s going wacky on me.

BONNIE: What a good dog you are, Mojo! Now, have you ever taken a look at the vacuum cleaner? No? Allow me to introduce you…

The dustpan and Mojo

  1. When Mojo is done at your place, mind if I borrow him? I have plenty of cleaning utensils he can… play with.

    Comment by Amber — 9/25/2006 @ 2:19 am

  2. Aah, he looks so innocent!

    Comment by Welshcakes Limoncello — 9/25/2006 @ 2:30 am

  3. clara….ha! those are bullie teeth marks if i’ve ever seen ‘em!

    i think auggie’s been reading about mojo’s antics when i’m not looking because he’s starting to get into everything!!!

    Comment by susan — 9/25/2006 @ 3:08 am

  4. Good Mojo! What a smart dog. :)

    Comment by Honey — 9/25/2006 @ 5:17 am

  5. Oh, lucky you! :)

    Comment by melly — 9/25/2006 @ 5:58 am

  6. i’m reading “marley & me”.
    sounds like you have a lot of the same experiences!
    lucky for mojo he is damn cute!

    Comment by beckyz — 9/25/2006 @ 6:50 am

  7. Mission accomplished. Give that boy a treat. Good dog.

    Heh. I don’t think this went through. You can delete it if two comments appear, right, Bonnie? I’m sure your blog is only waiting for me to say I think Clara is adorable, too.

    Comment by Lesia Valentine — 9/25/2006 @ 6:51 am

  8. Good Mojo! Battled the evil dust pan and survived.

    How does he do with mops?

    Mojo is so cute.

    Comment by Kristen — 9/25/2006 @ 6:54 am

  9. You’re killing me. Haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. As they say in the Big Easy, You got dat Mojo working.

    Comment by Steve Glossin — 9/25/2006 @ 7:22 am

  10. Can I borrow him too? I have a scale that desperately needs killing.

    Comment by Ms. Karen — 9/25/2006 @ 7:51 am

  11. Look, it matches your baseboards now – how thoughtful of him! :)

    Comment by Suzanne — 9/25/2006 @ 8:08 am

  12. Hi, Amber! Thanks for dropping by. You and I are of like minds—but you’ll want to make sure he stays off your couch unless you have washable slipcovers. I have to wash ours once a week.

    Welshcakes, he looks innocent because he is! He was helping me out!

    Holy cow, Susan, I read about Auggie’s job on your baseboards. A little sibling rivalry, I think, and as I am the oldest in our family I understand completely.

    Honey, for once I do agree that this dog might havee some smarts in him that I overlooked before, like when he chewed up my cell phone.

    Hi, Melly! I’m glad you’re back safe and sound from your trip to Israel.

    Lesia, Hubby felt it was a little much to give him a treat, so I gave him lots of loving. I took care of that double comment for you.

    Hello, Beckyz, thank you so much for coming to visit! I’ve been meaning to read Marley & Me because it looks hilarious!

    Kristen, he didn’t take to the broom like I thought he would, so I don’t think he’d like mops, either. They’re too big and scare him off. Darn it.

    Thank you, Steve. Yes, now that I’ve seen how his Bulldog Destructo Powers may be used for good, rather than evil, I’ve got all sorts of ideas brewing about what he can chew up. Like overdue library notices! Parking tickets! IRS tax forms! IRS tax auditors!

    Ms. Karen, Yes! And bathroom scales! This dog can go after all sorts of Life’s Little Nasties for us. Oh, the power!



    Comment by Bonnie Wren — 9/25/2006 @ 8:14 am

  13. Wow! This made me laugh–hard. But I’m a little concerned about that missing handle–you don’t think it’s going through the …uh…mojo processor do you?

    eek.

    Comment by dink — 9/25/2006 @ 9:18 am

  14. Yeah, wherefore art the missing handle? Boggles the mind, it does.

    I loves me some Mojo. Bonnie, you and he make Mondays tolerable!

    Comment by Lachlan — 9/25/2006 @ 11:49 am

  15. How funny. (I mean you, not Mojo.) Nah, that’s not true, I mean Mojo, too. Sorry.

    Our dog, Tesla, used to eat shoes.

    Kids still spend their first five minutes at my house hiding their shoes. Then they throw their coats on the floor. Ha.

    Comment by robin — 9/25/2006 @ 12:27 pm

  16. Cleaning Tips From Mojo.

    SIGN ME UP for that Listserv!!!

    Comment by jamie — 9/25/2006 @ 12:55 pm

  17. You forgot the dishes! and the dirty clothes! You could make a fortune off that dog!

    Comment by Erika — 9/25/2006 @ 1:15 pm

  18. dont forget all the junk mail….and it wont be so hard on his ability to process it :)

    Comment by Laurie — 9/25/2006 @ 1:30 pm

  19. He hid the handle to have as a midnight snack….Mwhahahaha!

    Comment by Bonnie Calhoun — 9/25/2006 @ 10:16 pm

  20. Dink and Lachlan, I’m not sure whether we’ll see those pieces again or not (if you know what I mean). What I did find was spread out all over the yard—the handle might be behind a bush or something. The vet said just to look for it during Poop Patrol.

    Heh, Robin! My boys, too. They’ve learned enough not to throw stuff they care about on the floor (like cell phones) but I just picked up a Chemistry textbook. Is that Freudian or what?

    Yeah, Jamie, I think he might even collect some of FlyLady‘s readers!

    You think so, Erika? Maybe it would help pay for all the expenses that come with owning a bulldog. Hubby wants another one, but Bulldog Maintenance is costly! Just ask Susan.

    Yay, Laurie! You’re right! No need to closely monitor the Poop Patrol if he’s been chowing down on the Prize Patrol!

    Heh, Bonnie! Because that is exactly what I would do! This dog takes after his BFH (Big Female Human).

    Comment by Bonnie Wren — 9/26/2006 @ 6:10 am

  21. An out of control dustpan!! just think of the damage that could have done.

    You are very lucky to have Mojo there to protect you all.

    Good dog Mojo.

    :)

    Comment by tl — 9/26/2006 @ 6:13 am

  22. Don’t forget to leave the dust rag out for him. Mojo makes me want a dog even more.

    Comment by UndoneLady — 9/26/2006 @ 8:49 pm

  23. Imagine.
    The Dog That Ate Homework!
    He’s a treasure.

    Comment by Bernita — 9/27/2006 @ 4:32 am

  24. My thoughts exactly, tl. There is nothing more dangerous in a home than an out of control dustpan.

    Hi there, Undone Lady! I think you need a dog to rip your stuff up, too. Heh!

    Now there you go, Bernita… he’s a dog of many, valuable uses. Who knew?

    Comment by Bonnie Wren — 9/27/2006 @ 6:33 pm

  25. Awwwww, look at his little face, its screams “Take me to Australia”!!

    Comment by Michelle — 9/28/2006 @ 1:03 am

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