Squirrel, those weren’t blue suede, they were blue fabric, but still, they were MINE, and that booger ate ‘em up. But you must remember, this is Hubby’s dog, and somehow he has wormed his way into my heart, too, the little stinkmeister.

Lachlan, that’s what my sister has suggested. If they could just trim around the torn area and nice it up a bit, I could still wear them. Like my mom says, “nobody will notice [fill in the blank] on a galloping horse!”

I hope I don’t kill off Steve, that’s for dang sure!

M.G., that’s not quite the spin I wanted to put on it, but it’ll do.

Yes, April, in fact I’ve got some mysterious long-distance calls to Texas in my phone bill. Are you sure Dodger doesn’t know how to use that phone? I think he and Mojo are comparing notes.

Heather, wow! When I was a kid, our borzoi were never much into chewing. They always acted like they wouldn’t be caught dead doing any typical dog stuff.

Bonnie!

Lesia, trust me, his butt got paddled.

Bernita, you’re encouraging him!

Dink, you’re right about the doormat. I tried trimming it down, but he and Clara finished it off.

Vaguely Urban, in this case, he’s lucky Hubby will put up with it. He’s really Hubby’s baby.

Erika, I agree. Even if the cobbler can’t fix it, long pants will cover it up… but there IS a fang hole by the toe.

I don’t think so, Elizabeth!

Peacemongermom, he loves to sit on feet, too. I think he’s just trying to make sure we don’t sneak off without him knowing.

Now, about the stink: bulldogs are famous for the Three Stinkies:

1. Stinky gas (front and rear)
2. Stinky skin (they love to roll in the dirt)
3. Stinky wrinkles and folds.

A bland bulldog diet is the only way to keep the stinky gas down to a minimum. Any dietary change can cause a night of gas so bad it’s guaranteed to peel the paint right off the walls.

The stinky skin is fixed with regular bathing. He needs a bath AT LEAST twice a week. The stinky wrinkles and folds are taken care of with twice-weekly cleaning. I use hydrogen pyroxide and a zinc oxide-based ointment. Some bulldog owners don’t do this and their poor dogs get really stinky and itchy.

I think people can tell when they walk in our house that we’ve got a dog, because he IS pretty smelly, but it isn’t as bad as a bulldog home where the dogs aren’t kept clean and fresh on a regular basis.

I have to ask though – I am somewhat curious about the whole “stinky bulldog” thing. Does Mojo have a specific eau de bulldog aroma, that is exclusive to a bulldog? If you, as a bulldog person, were to enter the home of another bulldog person, without knowing per se that they *were* bulldog people (i.e., they kept their chewed shoes hidden away, for instance), would your nose alert you immediately? Clearly, if I were (a) a bulldog or (b) a bulldog person, I would know these things. I am, however, a corgi person, meaning that I cater to a fairly non-stinky dog, who is permanently on a diet and thinks that he’s the Queen.

Then I got a puppy. *sigh* I loved those shoes.