We’ve had Mojo a little over a year now. He’s become a very popular part of this blog, so I thought I’d post something I wrote back when I was still getting used to life with a bulldog.
February 17, 2005
I don’t sleep anymore—thanks to a certain stinky little bulldog.
 |
| Sadly, there’s not much you can expect from a dog with a bladder the size of a strawberry. |
I’m trying my damndest to fix a schedule for said stinky little bulldog, but he’s awfully uncooperative. Not exactly a team player if you know what I mean. Here’s what I have so far:
5 am: Out of his crate and outside to poop and pee. I put down the water bowl for him. He and Casey Dog eat at 6 am.
After that, his day is basically a cycle of crate, outside, play, outside, crate, outside, play, outside… and we are officially slaves to the Puppy Schedule. We plan everything around this schedule. This schedule is GOD.
At 4, Mojo eats dinner, and at 6 pm, I pick up the water bowl. More outside time, off and on until bedtime, which is 8 pm. I make sure he poops and pees before bed, then it’s off to the crate he goes.
Last night he barked and cried at 8:30 pm, 9:45, 11:15, midnight, 1:30 am, 2, 3:30, and 4 am, and I woke up each time and worried.
Is this the “I Have to Pee!” cry or is it the “I Wanna Play!” cry? What if I ignore this cry and he poops or pees in his crate? Then he’ll always poop and pee in his crate, won’t he?
What if he’s sick and/or vomiting and/or has diarrhea in his crate? What if Mojo worked his crate door partially open, got caught and is choking to death right now just because I won’t get my lazy behind up and take him out and save him?
What if we wake up in the morning to a cold, dead puppy and as our boys completely break down in their overwhelming grief, the Humane Society Officers haul me away in handcuffs…
Mostly I gave in and took Mojo out to the back yard. It was a crap shoot (ha!) if he really had to go or not. Sometimes he just raced around the back yard and had a grand time until I waded out into the wet grass, crunched a few snails in my bare feet and caught him.
Every time finally I climbed back into my nice, warm bed, Mojo cried and barked for about a half hour. Hubby was asleep. The boys were asleep. I was alone in my nocturnal dog agonies.
I’d be pretty resentful about it, too, except this stinky little bulldog has this way of looking at me like I invented liver treats… just before he swings his little bulldog face down to my bare toes and inhales deeply, as if those toes were the sweetest smelling flowers in the universe.
Which they are not. They’re ugly, stinky toes, and he is an ugly, stinky little bulldog who holds a strange attaction for lots of people but not me, especially when I’m losing sleep over him.
Oh what sweet puppy pictures. Mojo was an adorable baby!
Queen B is now two and I remember those agonies. In, out. In out. Crate. Crate. Ooops, accident. Clean, crate, in, out and wow.. she’s lived to two.
And thinks I’m the best thing since liverwurst.
What we do for the love of our dogs.
Thanks for the memories. Must go stare at Burrito girl’s picture of asleep in crate.
OMG, he’s as cute as a button! Oooo, i just want to squeeze him 🙂 You wouldn’t want to be without him!
oh, cute…my dog did a poopie inside today…she was in deep doo doo all day. Stinkin’ puppy-dogs. We need parrots.
He sure was cute, wasn’t he, ladies?
He was like a rock star—I couldn’t go out of the house with him without drawing a crowd. He sure isn’t as cute as he was then—now people seem a little frightened of him, even though he’s still a baby.
What a sweetheart…I’m not quite sure what the crate thing is? I’ve had seven dogs in the last 30 years and I’ve never had a crate! what is it?
A dog crate is a humane tool used to help house-break a puppy. Mojo is completely house-broken now, but he still loves his crate because it’s a safe place for him to go when he needs peace and quiet. When he’s tired at night, he puts himself to bed in his crate!
You can read about crate training here and here