Super Sabado: and yup, she’s a Potential Murder Suspect

It seems to me that the worst thing about PMS is that you’re suddenly considered incapable of rational thought.

I mean, you make a logical and reasonable observation about how NOBODY ever bothers to rinse off their plates, much less put said plates into the dishwasher, and how you’d probably fall over dead from SHOCK if anybody ever decided to RUN said dishwasher without being TOLD to, since they’d rather just load it up with dirty dishes and expect the MAGIC DISH FAIRY TO APPEAR and wave her wand and not only wash the dishes but PUT THEM AWAY, TOO…

…and no matter how rational or practical you are, your so-called Soul Mate just says you’re starting to get all wacky on him and goes back to reading T-Nation.

Does that sound fair to you?

No, really. I want your HONEST opinion.

Today’s Super Sábado is me trying to catch up on all my reading, because if I wasn’t running, I was driving very fast, and you can’t read blogs when you’re driving. There’s no consistent internet access on I-5, and web-surfing while driving is probably against the law, anyway.

---

Where’s my turkey pot pie, woman?!

A mysterious question from a mysterious source in Kristen‘s chaotic life, and if that somebody had asked us, we’d have told them to ASK THE CHICKEN POT PIE FAIRY.

---

This has been a test…of the emergency nose explosion warning system.

Had this been an actual nose explosion emergency, the four sneezes you just heard would have been followed by a string of curse words and frantic searching for tissues.

Honey of Meet My Muse, fighting the good fight against a wicked cold. All by herself, we might add, because nobody takes care of Mom when she’s sick the way she takes care of her family when they’re sick.

---

I was getting nervous. Had I said something that would make the government consider me a threat? Had my secret plans to support the neighborhood squirrel population by leaving stale peanuts under my tree been leaked out? Can stale peanuts give squirrels diarrhea? Are squirrels with diarrhea a threat to national security? Was I under suspicion for tainting the spaghetti sauce with garbanzo beans, tofu, and zucchini?

Would this be my last blog post, ever?

Ms. Karen, who was stalked by ninjas disguised as apples. Really.

---

He’ll scrunch his eye’s closed and draw up and hang on until he’s tired of getting wet.
He’ll see me coming with the bottle and knowing that he’ll get sprayed and he just scrunches up and holds on tight.
I don’t know what to do to break him of doing this.
Not only is he driving me nuts, he scares the crap out of me just about every time he does this.

Wander of Wander’s World, and her very own peeping tom.

---

If ever there is a time a woman would have penis envy, it is when she’s asked to piss in a little cup.

Maybe so, Cyn, maybe so, but envy isn’t exactly the emotion we have toward that particular organ right now.

---

In Jamestown I am amazed that “Pocahontas probably got her groove on in a grass hut right around here with the White Devil”.

Jamie of Lunacy for Beginners, whose passion for history is matched only by her HIS imagination. (Heh! Sorry about that, Jamie!)

---

Just in time for Christmas! Get your favorite geek an authentic replica of the famous firearm from the game, Doom. Nothing clears out of room of demons faster.

What do you mean by that, Mr. Grouchypants? Are you saying we can’t do a good job on our own clearing the room of demons, so you have to go out and get a new power tool and do it yourself? [sniff] No, really, don’t mind us…

---

I’m sick to death of myself lately. Must. Do. Something.

Feith of Dear Leonard. We hear ya, Feith.

---

€16 for four blades though! I’ll never be comfortable with that but it’s worth it. Damn.

Gary of gpshewandotcom, formerly a Sensor man, but now saving his pennies for the Fusion.

---

You could be a stuffed rat in a Carl Hiassen book or a character in a Chris Ware comic or… well, go and look at the complete list yourself. And pass it on, mention it in your blog. Tell your friends. It’s for a good cause…

Neil Gaiman, doing it for a good cause.

---

This day, this dumb bird ran along in front of the harvester. When it got far enough ahead, it would squat down, next thing the harvester was getting too close, so it would run further ahead, about 30 feet, and squat down. When it got to the end of the row, it raced around the corner and squatted down again. Next thing, the harvester was coming again, so run down the row and squat again. This went on until on the last row, it raced around the end of the row, and oops, there’s the harvester, so the fool thing just squatted right where it was.

tl of Life Got Away, who had to get off the harvester and chase the dang thing off.

---

As I bent over to pick them up with a wad of toilet paper, I noticed that they were kind of shiny. I figured they were very fresh. As I picked them up, I realized that I had was the victim of a cruel practical joke by my darling boyfriend.

Blogarsay‘s, whose boyfriend hoped she might think her cat was pooping out Trader Joe’s chocolate-covered pistachio nuts. Men!

---

Hi Grandma, I’m going to have my baby now.
They just went to get the doctor, I’m pushing. I’ll phone when I’ve had her. Oh Gradma, I LOVE YOU!

OMG!

Okay, this one will melt us, sure. We’re not so completely immersed in PMS that we can’t be excited for Great-grandma Vanda of Thinking Out Loud. And it was a GIRL!

---

I purchased a $4.96 bunch of romaine. I paid a dollar each for the roma tomatoes. They didn’t even give me mushrooms or sprouts so I could make a nice salad.

What the hell was I thinking?

M.G. Tarquini, who was obviously thinking like someone who knows her veggies, unlike that proprietor of a mail-order veggie scam.

---

Dooce has Chuck . . .
Fussy has Cookie . . .
Ballpoint Wren has Mojo . . .
Let me introduce you to . . . Zeus!

Aw, first the great-grandbaby and now Zeus… dang! It’s hard to be all PMSy very long around you guys. Thanks, Mom of Two.

---

We’ve all but given up on the citronella collar. Basically Wilbur thinks it’s a fresh blast of room freshener going off in his direction. Doesn’t phase him in the least.

Speaking of canine cuties, here’s Joy from thejoyof, on her carwash-hating, “that screen is my personal doggie door” sheepdog.

---

We spent about 3 hours in Home Depot which always makes me very, very cranky. It always includes several mile plus walks in search of some miniscule object that is lost amid the rows and rows of man stuff. Meanwhile Hub gazes longingly at the drills and saws, picks them up, craddles them, puts them back down. Repeat. Repeat.

Then again, there’s Susan of Church of Angst to get us back on the PMS track. Go, Susan! In all your crankiness! Embrace the crankiness!

---

Mom: Do you think you hurt her feelings? Has she talked to you again.

Son: No she figures if she can’t have the best, I guess she is looking for the second best.

Heh! Laurel Wreath‘s boy IS awfully funny.

---

I’m working my way through wallpapers and textures….Like I don’t have enough to do…LOL!

Bonnie Calhoun, on her blog’s brave new look. Way to go, Bonnie!

---

The jazz combo meets.
Old musicians
talking about the days
when hip
was hep,
the intro and the outro,
melodic minor, modulation,
scat, swing, and syncopation.

Hep cat Dink, of Ink Blog. And dang, how come you got all the poetry talent, girl?

---

My favorite part was the motor-tricycle-taxi-car chase scene near the end. It was laugh-out-loud. However, if Ong-Bak 2 is coming out, I’m kicking it off the Netflix queue and changing my password.

Dana of Dana’s Tea House, who’s got the right attitude, even if she doesn’t appreciate martial arts flicks.

---

Jello shots are in the kitchen next to the “special” brownies. Karaoke starts as soon as I’m drunk enough to sing. BTW, I have dibs on Like a Virgin. Sorry, Ivan. Flood promised to do her rendition of My Hips Don’t Lie. Scott’s acoustic version of Hot for Teacher should be quite entertaining. And hopefully, the grand finale of this party will be Anne singing Britney Spear’s Oops, I Did It Again to celebrate hitting the USA Today list–again.

The scene at Jaye‘s virtual partay for the release of Pale Immortal.

---

It is very hot again today, so to cheer myself up after realising that the season of total body depilation is not yet over, I have been to the sales…

Welshcakes Limoncello of Sicily Scene, who lives the life we hope to lead one day, full of gelati, good sales and the option of shaving or not.

---

His girlfriend didn’t get nominated for homecoming queen, some other girl did. Now i’m freaking out because I don’t want that girls whole day ruined because he didn’t get her one. But I don’t even know her name so I couldn’t even tell the school who to give it to.

Secret Squirrel, a much better mom than we are, that’s for sure.

---

Some of the stunts these women who phoned have pulled….i swear, makes me proud to be woman LOL!! From cutting out the crotch of her ex’s pants, shrimp in the curtain rods, sugar in the gas tank, to the ultimate piece of revenge, and of course my favorite……

Yeah! This is what we’re in the mood for! Yay, Michelle! And guys, if you EVER plan to cheat on her, you’ll probably end up mowing your Persian rugs.

---

So teen girls like horror. Does that mean we should have more strong female characters or come up with more reasons to keep Biff shirtless?

Well, Screamwriter, as a middle-aged woman who likes some horror, we say there are never enough reasons to keep Biff shirtless.

---

Later in the day, as I prepared a quiche and pasta salad for my friends, I had my first hot flash. At least I think it was. I came to this conclusion as my husband walked into the kitchen and asked me why I had my head in the freezer.

Bwa ha! Leave it to Teri Mutant-O-Pausal to make us laugh.

---

It was jellyfish-a-palooza. People were getting stung left and right. Thank goodness no one tried to pull the old “I heard you’re supposed to pee on it” line just to get some play. That’s just… eew.

Mel of the Smooshie Diaries, and a miraculous escape.

---

I’m trying to be semi-optimistic because I know that God has a plan. I’m trying not to worry. Not to fret. Not to go, “Okay, NOW WHAT???”

Mimi, who’s got every right to worry and fret right now.

---

I look like a total alien.

Melanie, of Holy Schmidt. And we should all look so alien-like. Maybe then our husbands would listen to us, hunh? No matter what time of month it is!

---

Rest assured I will not be crying in my beer somewhere, or contemplating my navel in a dark corner while the animals go unfed and the dishes undone. No, instead, I will be slaving away at work and counting on the routine of busrides and feeding said animals to save me from the unbearable silence that will soon envelope the house.

Lachlan of My So-Called Blog, about to lose Bayou to the wilds of South Dakota.

---

On the way to lunch, I look at a flash card and say a vocabulary word out loud and Annie replies with what the word means. The word is “odious” and Annie says the correct definition: Arousing or meriting strong dislike.

And then she points at me.

Chris of My Mean Girl, suffering the slings and arrows of the outrageous Annie.

---

And so what if they didn’t show her off right away. It’s not something they are REQUIRED to do, just because they are celebrities. They don’t owe it to us. They have the responsibility to make sure the baby is healthy and happy. Besides, he was in the middle of promoting his latest movie, Mission Impossible. (Which is what many people thought baby Suri was, with all those silly rumors flying about.)

Sing it, April, only we would’ve used stronger language than “silly.”

---

Had a general impression of a lot of weak, victim characters – pursued, driven, obsessed – and a considerable number of negative, whiney, unattractive and basically nasty people as protagonists, whose mean and petty characteristics are emphasized and justified.

Bernita of An Innocent A-Blog on Miss Snark’s 100 Crapometer entries. Yeah, us, too, Bernita.

---

And for those of you who’ve stayed until the very end, here’s a commercial for a great new product on the market.