We’re on our way home from school, “we” being me, Squirt, and his bud Eddy.

SQUIRT: (pressing his face against the car window) Is anybody there right now?

EDDY: No… Oh, wait! Aw. False alarm.

SQUIRT: (disappointed) Aw.

You might think they’re hoping to see a friend, or a cute girl, or a burglary in progress, or maybe even a clown who just happens to be juggling swords of flame while balancing on a unicycle as we drive by.

Nope. You’d be wrong.

What these two fine examples of American youth are hoping to witness is… another act of public urination.

About a month ago they saw one guy relieving himself on the sidewalk, and the hilarity of it carried them through a whole week of carpooling.

Now they examine the same spot every day as we drive by, searching for The Peeing Man (or a reasonable facsimile thereof). Failing to catch anyone else in the act, they are stuck with reminiscing.

SQUIRT: That was the funniest thing. Ever. Ha, ha, ha! I was just looking out the window…

EDDY: Oh, my god, I laughed so hard! Ha, ha, ha! Me, too! Looking out the window!

SQUIRT: I thought he was just standing there, waiting for a bus or something… and then… HA, HA, HA!

EDDY: We see the stream! HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!

Maybe I’d be laughing, too, if I’d seen it for myself. But somehow I doubt it.