I fought the lawn… and the lawn won
Today is the day I reveal to everyone how psycho I really am. Are you ready? Whereas most people have perfectly normal nightmares like standing up in front of their high school algebra class in their underwear, I have nightmares in which I am chased through the house by hostile household appliances. SINUS IRRIGATOR: You …
That’s Tiger at the wheel. I took this picture with my cell phone from the back seat, which I prefer because there is absolutely no fun at all in being a Front Seat Driver. As you can imagine, Hubby and I were shaken by the recent accident at our local high school, even more so …
Squirt is making a new movie. Sadly, I have no part in it this time; no camera work, no button-pushing, nothing whatsoever. The kid won’t even let me adjust the tripod holding the camcorder. I’m not even allowed to talk to him about it. And I have some really great ideas about editing one or …
Beth‘s boyfriend‘s high score in Winterbells is jaw-dropping. All I can say is: dang! The boy MUST be a space alien. I mean, 1423910! How can anybody do that who doesn’t make the jump into hyperspeed on a regular basis? But yikes! I’m behind on my Super Sabado! Quick, quick… got to catch up on …
Continue reading “Super Sabado: streams of captcha consciousness”
One thing about growing older that really bothers me is losing my brain power. Lately I forget everything unless I put it in writing, and then I turn around and forget the list. That’s why I was stuck in the mall restroom, peering at the feminine hygiene products dispenser—because I forgot to bring some of …
Continue reading “Super Sabado: Let’s forget about getting older, okay?”
You know how it is with cats? How you empty out their litter box so you can fill it with nice, clean sand, and even though the back door is wide open and the cats have the ENTIRE WORLD available for their toilet, they suddenly become so desperate to use that particular litter box that …
Continue reading “Super Sabado: on cats, men, and bathroom fixtures”
Did you know “Procrastinatress” is Bonnie’s middle name? Bonnie Procrastinatress Wren. That would be her. She is running around like the noodle she is, trying to get everything done, including last minute presents and last minute Christmas cards—and who are we kidding? Let’s just call them “Last Minute New Year’s Cards,” okay? Oh, and don’t …
Continue reading “A Message from Mojo: No Super Sabado this week”
If I’ve learned one thing from my man’s recent knee surgery, it’s this: The day he retires is the day I move out. I mean, he’s sweet enough, all right. He’s my man, and he’s injured. I want to take care of him. It’s just that… he can be so … ANNOYING. BONNIE: Your omelet …
Judy is an unrelenting source of good things: first, the snowflake maker that benefits the Salvation Army, and now Elf Yourself. Yay, Judy! Talk about fun! I couldn’t wait to use it for my weekly procrastination post, so here I am, dancing at the North Pole. I can really move, can’t I? (I couldn’t figure …
The boy who knows it all—and knows it better than his parents ever did before we forgot it all in our geriatric haze—that boy? He is driving. And I, naturally, am in a bit of shock, but not because of Tiger’s new driver’s license. And no, not because of our greatly increased insurance rates, either, …