Hubby: How come you never write about me anymore?
Me: Oh, I don’t know, probably because you and I get along so well lately. The best columns come when I’m ticked off about something.
Hubby: (silent)
Me: Yeah. Even Mark Twain said something about how humor comes from unhappiness, and that there’s no humor in heaven, although I don’t know about the heaven part.
Hubby: (silent)
Me: Not that I’m comparing myself to Mark Twain. Or anything.
Hubby: So. The only way to get written about in a column is to piss you off?
Me: Uh, no, that’s not quite what I mea—
Hubby: (turning away) Consider it done.
Me: Gulp.