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I fought the lawn… and the lawn won

Shoot! We all were counting on those free contraceptives, too.

Filed under: Opinionated on Thursday, May 11, 2006

From this official-looking letter, it looks like Prom attendees will be receiving some really interesting party favors this year.

“Due to the generous donations provided by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, San Dieguito Academy will hearby supply free contraceptive devices at all further dances, beginning with prom 2006.”

“San Dieguito Academy neither promotes nor condemns your student’s sexual activity. Our mission is to support the unique culture and programs of San Dieguito High School Academy. In keeping with this mission, SDA thanks you again for helping us provide a healthy and encouraging environment for your student to grow, learn and succeed.”

Excerpts from prank letter mailed to parents of high school students.

Dang, I wish I’d gotten this letter… it sounds like a classic. I mean, “We neither promote nor condemn your student’s sexual activity” is exactly what you’d expect to hear from a school district nowadays.

And you’ve got to give the kids involved some credit for coming up with a senior prank that’s funny without causing physical damage to the campus, or requiring somebody to clean up a big mess.

The school administration, however, doesn’t see any humor in it at all.

[Principal] Gauthier said the school resource officer, who is a sheriff’s deputy, will investigate the prank.

“To put my name on it – that’s got to be breaking some law,” she said.

At any rate it seems to be a hot story. There were news cameras in the school parking lot when I picked up Tiger; a pretty blonde woman stopped me and asked me if I’d mind answering some questions. I said sure, but when she stuck the microphone into my car window, my brain turned to mush.

REPORTER: So what do you think of this senior prank?

BONNIE: I, um… splork…

CAMERAMAN: (to reporter) Psst! Your microphone isn’t on!

REPORTER: It’s not? (she clicks a switch on the microphone) How about now? Okay! (turns to Bonnie) So! What do you think of this senior prank?

At that point I was greatly relieved—because I had a second chance! This time I was going to put a coherent sentence together, a sentence that would reassure the citizens of San Diego County that at least one parent wasn’t high while driving.

Unfortunately, looking into the business end of a microphone apparently renders me incapable of speech.

BONNIE: I… um, er…. splork!

So if you see a confused-looking parent on the tube tonight, splorking about Prom contraceptives, you’ll know who it is.

  1. LMAO, i think they need to applauded! They’re all genisuses, i admire their brilliance!

    Comment by Michelle — 5/11/2006 @ 7:43 pm

  2. That’s one for the books…Our high school kids just paint the bridge near the high school. the sports teams are the Sabers….so the bridge says SABERLAND, and then every year the senior class changes the year!

    Comment by Bonnie Calhoun — 5/11/2006 @ 8:42 pm

  3. Too funny.

    Beats what the last seniors painted on the bridge, the signs, the buildings. They got in big trouble for that.

    And many parents complained.

    I like a clean/funny prank.

    Sorry you splorked at the last minute.

    Comment by Kait — 5/11/2006 @ 9:28 pm

  4. [...] via Ballpoint Wren [...]

    Pingback by San Diego Blog » Blog Archive » San Dieguito Senior(s) Prank Prom Contraception — 5/12/2006 @ 12:11 am

  5. I’ve heard they make great water balloons…
    Just say it left you bereft of words.

    Comment by Bernita — 5/12/2006 @ 5:18 am

  6. hahahaha – LOL :-)

    Comment by Dennie — 5/12/2006 @ 5:53 am

  7. “To put my name on it – that’s got to be breaking some law,” she said.

    Uh, yeah. Because God forbid that your good name be sullied by the mention of birth control and responsible sexuality. Gotta save them hymens.

    In education, the bigger nuts rise to the top.

    What a great prank!

    Comment by pat kirby — 5/12/2006 @ 7:55 am

  8. I think they’re geniuses, too, Michelle. They came up with a prank that didn’t hurt anybody, didn’t cause a mess, and is very funny. That letter sounds like a good parody of typical district communication, too.

    Bonnie, so your town reserves that bridge for the seniors to paint? I like that idea.

    Kait, you should hear about some of the pranks pulled in this town. In 2001, the seniors at a nearby high school bought a bunch of chickens from a poultry farm and tried to toss them over the school fence, but something like 80 chickens died and the kids got into serious trouble.

    I was thinking more along the lines of those balloons you can twist into animal shapes, Bernita. Wouldn’t that be fun! Heh!

    Hi, Dennie!

    Pat, I don’t think the principal was reacting to the sexual aspect as much as she’s probably worried other kids will try to forge her signature to sign a check, or to conduct some official business, which would definitely break the law.

    But this prank, it hurt no one, really. I hope the kids who did it don’t get into any trouble for it.

    Comment by Bonnie Wren — 5/12/2006 @ 4:11 pm

  9. it sounds so much like the kind of thing you’d receive from the school districts these days, it’s a wonder anyone actually believed it to be a prank! Very clever, kids!!

    Comment by Elizabeth — 5/12/2006 @ 10:23 pm

  10. [...] Tiger found a linkable video of the newscast I mentioned here. Somehow they managed to find one coherent sentence in all my splorking—amazing! I’m the gal in the glasses at the end. [...]

    Pingback by Ballpoint Wren » My 1.5 seconds of fame — 5/19/2006 @ 9:20 pm

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